


Grab Your Fire

by Bizarra



Category: Star Trek: Voyager
Genre: F/M, Kathryn Janeway Needs a Hug, Needed Conversations Happen, Post-Endgame
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-05-25
Updated: 2020-05-25
Packaged: 2021-03-02 18:15:57
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,865
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24371176
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Bizarra/pseuds/Bizarra
Summary: Kathryn Janeway has a surprising conversation with Mark Johnson, that leads to a resolution with Chakotay.
Relationships: Chakotay/Kathryn Janeway, Kathryn Janeway/Mark Johnson
Comments: 21
Kudos: 123
Collections: Kathryn Janeway Needs A Hug





	Grab Your Fire

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you to Coffeeblack75 for running the KJ needs a Hug fest. Thank you to my muse for finally giving me a story that actually finished. 
> 
> This story was Beta'd by Prowriter, so apologies for any mistakes. :)

Captain Kathryn Janeway sat on a bench overlooking the mouth of the bay. The Golden Gate Bridge stretched across the wide expanse, it’s reddish-orange color standing out boldly against the cloudless blue sky. She shivered as a chilly breeze wafted in from the waterfront. Kathryn inhaled the salty air and smiled. This was a sight she never thought she’d see again outside a holodeck.

It was just after 1700 and she had finished her debrief for the day. Kathryn was tired, but not ready to go back to her Starfleet-issued apartment yet. She’d just wanted to sit and reflect. Today’s topics had been on the closeness the admirals had noticed in her crew. They were quick to point out it wasn’t something bad, they’d just wanted to know how she’d done it. Kathryn snorted into the air. How had she done it? She’d stranded them and left them with no one to fall back on but each other. When the panel had asked, it had taken all of Kathryn’s strength not to roll her eyes and laugh.

They had also asked about the closeness between her and Chakotay. They were friends, she’d told them. He’d been the best first officer she could have hoped for. What about Cavit, they’d wondered? How had he been as an executive? Kathryn had shrugged. She had known him for all of a week. There hadn’t been time to form a working relationship with him. What little she had known, though, the potential was there for a beneficial command partnership.

A shadow drew over Kathryn and halted her musings. She turned to the source and smiled. “Mark!” Her first thought was that he looked good. Happy. Kathryn stood, “What brings you to San Francisco?”

A warm grin crossed Mark Johnson’s face. “You actually.” He awkwardly jammed his hands into the pockets of the jacket he wore. “I wanted to see you. To see if you were really here.”

“I am.” Kathryn glanced around her, “sometimes I feel I have to pinch myself to make sure I’m not dreaming.” She gestured. “Sit, if you have time.” Her former fiance gestured that she take a seat first, then he followed. “How are you?” She asked, then laughed. “Isn’t it funny how all awkward conversations seem to start with ‘how are you?’”

The man next to her snickered, “I am fine. And I see you’re doing well, so I won’t respond in kind.” He leaned forward slightly and then turned to take a long look at her. “You look good, Kathryn. I’m glad there was someone there to take care of you.”

Kathryn turned sharp eyes his way, “I can take care of myself, thank you very much.”

Mark only snickered. He stuck out his hand, “I’m sorry, I don’t believe we’ve met, I’m Mark Johnson.”

Her response was a light punch to his upper arm. “Okay, sometimes I need to be reminded to eat. And that coffee isn’t a food group.”

“And that three hours of sleep a night isn’t good for a person.” He supplied for her with a cheerful uplift of his voice. 

“I slept.” She defended, then her mouth crooked into her one-sided grin, “sometimes.”

Their laughter soon calmed to a quiet stillness. They sat together in a companionable silence that stretched on for a while. Finally, Kathryn broke it with a soft, “I’m sorry.”

“What do you have to be sorry for, Kath?” His replying question was just as light.

“Running away.” At his movement, she turned, “I don’t mean to the Delta Quadrant. I mean,” She inhaled deeply, “before that. Taking commissions, changing dates, putting you off. I didn’t — ” she felt his hand cover hers. “I loved you, Mark. I did. I still do. But something was missing.”

“Fire.” He looked out toward the water. “Fire was missing.” He turned to her, gently shifted her face to meet his. “I was safe, Kathryn. I wasn’t Starfleet. I was the boy you grew up with; that you pushed into pools when we were younger. I was a comfort when you needed it.”

“That makes me sound—” 

“No.” Mark cupped her cheek. “You’d recently lost the man you had fire with. You needed someone to make you feel safe. I was happy to be that someone.” He wrapped his arm around her shoulder and pulled her against his side. “I was content to be your safe place in an environment like Starfleet, that was decidedly not safe. It was what you needed then.”

Silence fell again as the pair of former lovers reconnected. Again, it was some time before they spoke. “When I received the call from Admiral Patterson, there was a heaviness in his voice. A sadness. I knew something was wrong. They didn’t declare Voyager lost right away. They searched for months. The Cardassians gave only the amount of help needed to fulfill their alliance quota.”

Mark stood then, walked a slight distance to the edge of the short cliff and gathered his thoughts. Kathryn gave him a moment, then followed. She lay her hand on his back, encouraging him to continue. “After two years of fruitless searching, Starfleet gave up. Declared Voyager lost with all hands and washed their hands of it.” He crossed his arms, “They were in the middle of a war by that point, and needed their resources elsewhere.”

“I couldn’t give up.” He crouched, “My fiance was the captain of that ship. I knew if you were out there somewhere you would not give up. So why should I?” He pulled a blade of grass from the ground and stood again. “I spoke with your mother and she agreed to help. She gave me contacts inside Starfleet that I could call. Through them, I learned that the Maquis ship they sent you to retrieve had also disappeared.” He handed her the grass. “Interesting connection, don’t you think?”

“I followed up on it.” Mark explained, “booked passage to the one place I knew where the Maquis might still be found.”

“You went to Deep Space Nine.” Kathryn stated.

Mark nodded, “I went to Deep Space Nine. Spoke to a man named Emory Tomkin, who put me in touch with a few other people. Before I knew it, I was on a ship headed for the Badlands. By the time we got there, I had learned everything I needed to know about the Maquis, about their fight.” He walked slightly past Kathryn before turning to face her. “I agreed with their arguments, though not entirely their methods. And then I met a woman named Carla Barnet.”

Kathryn’s eyes immediately met his, “I thought you said she was a coworker.”

His smile turned smug, “She was. Eventually.”

“You joined the Maquis?” Kathryn was shocked. “Mark, the only Maquis alive were in prison or on Voyager. How did you survive the massacre?”

“New Zealand is lovely this time of year.”

Her mouth dropped. “How did I not know this?”

“Those of us who had lesser charges were released after the incident at Tevlik’s Moon.” He shrugged, “Carla and I came back to Indiana and disappeared into the mundane. No one, except your mother knows what we were.”

“All because you were looking for me.” She commented, going back to the original thread of his conversation. “I’m so sorry.”

Mark laughed her off, “Don’t be. I met the woman who filled me with fire. She made it easy to let you go, to realize that Starfleet was right, and it was time to move on.”

“You’re welcome?” Kathryn shrugged. 

“Kath, I know you’ve met a man who fills you with fire too. You deserve to be loved to the fullest degree, and he can do that.” At her look he sobered, “What’s wrong?”

“He doesn’t love me.” She moved back to the bench, “I let rules, protocol, you, stand in our way for so long, he gave up on me.” She looked up as Mark approached. “I don’t blame him, really. He deserves to be happy too.”

“What about you, hon?” Mark asked as he sat, “you deserve all the happiness you can get.”

“I am happy,” She smiled, though it didn’t really reach her eyes. “Voyager is home. My crew is back with their families. I’ve got unlimited fresh coffee. What more could I ask for?”

“Someone to love you.” A fresh voice joined their conversation, and her heart skipped.

She turned and stood. “Chakotay.” She glanced at Mark, then back to her former first officer. “How long have you been there?”

“For the entire seven years, Kathryn.” He reached for her, “I’ve been there the whole time.”

“I will let you talk.” Mark told her. He lay both hands on her cheeks and pulled her into a warm kiss, then wrapped her into a tight hug. “Grab your fire” He whispered to her before he pulled away and shook Chakotay’s hand. “I know I don’t have to tell you to take care of her.” Mark nodded, “Don’t be strangers okay?” He broke the handshake and then walked away leaving them alone.

Kathryn stepped away, needing space for the moment. She was thankful when he didn’t follow. “What about Seven?” She asked finally, then turned his direction and found he’d sat on the bench to wait for her. Damn him for knowing her so well.

“They have released Seven, and she’s on her way to Stockholm with her aunt.” Chakotay told her. “She’s looking forward to meeting her family.”

“Are you joining her soon?” She asked, not sure she wanted to hear the answer.

Chakotay shook his head. “No, Kathryn. I’m not going anywhere with Seven. We mutually agreed that our brief romance was misguided and ended it.”

Kathryn moved closer, “misguided?”

“I tried to do what you wanted, Kathryn.” He gave her a regretful smile. “I tried to move on. My heart wouldn’t let me.” He leaned forward, his elbows propped on his thighs. “You are so permanently entrenched in here,” He clapped a fist against his chest, “that I can’t. I kissed her and wondered how your lips would feel against mine. It wasn’t fair to her.” He stood finally and walked to meet her. “She told me, in her succinct and efficient way that I needed to be truthful to myself, to you.”

Kathryn was rooted to her spot, afraid to move lest she break whatever spell she was under and wake up. Of its own volition her hand moved to his chest, where his heart thumped strongly and he felt warm. A sob escaped, and she looked into his face. It had been so long since she’d seen such blatant affection in his eyes. “We’re home.” was the only thing that came out of her mouth. It made no damn sense. But it made perfect sense.

He pulled her into his arms and held her close. “We are home, Kathryn. I’m not leaving you again.”

Kathryn settled into his embrace and clung tightly to him. “You’re permanently etched on my heart too,” she muttered, content to just stay in his arms. They would have to move eventually, but until then, she would revel in the feel of his body wrapped around hers.


End file.
